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Heart on stick must die, Version 2.0. :/

Two years ago I wrote my "famous" "Heart on Stick Must Die" rant. Heh. Well, I feel like ranting again, but you don't have to read if you don't want.

Yet another Valentine's Day will come and go without anyone special to share it with. Woohoo. Y'know, I don't get things. I know I'm a good person, yet no one decent has noticed. Bah.

Eh, Valentine's Day is hyped up anyway. Even a friend of mine who's married said it's overrated. You don't need one day to tell someone you love them. You should tell them that everyday.

I come across as a weird person to guys. I've had very bad experiences where I've been burned. All I try to do is be friendly. So so far I've been no good with guys. Even if I don't like them that way it's hard for me. That's why I'd rather have girl friends. When it's just the gurlz, I'm more comfortable. It's just easier.

Some girls can get bfs so easily. I just don't understand.

Now, I'm definitely not implying that I want a bf just to have one. I'm just tired of being lonely. It was nice having a companion, a partner in crime. :/ But I never want to rush into things again. Ever. I think that was my biggest mistake with my ex.

So again, I consider myself a good person. I'm nice, funny (I think), and pretty (I think...). But I don't have experience in a lot of things, which is probably why this last relationship had to end badly. It was my first. So, yeah.

But my day will come. I'll end here for now. Maybe by next year I'll have a partner in crime. We'll see what the future holds. *hopeful*


Tesh :)


Hey y'all, Tesh here. Sorry for not writing in a while. I'm too busy to write in my normal Journal too. :/ A lot has been going on.

ANYway, I've seen all of my friends by now, and am liking my classes. I joined Publishing Club too. I'm having a pretty good semester so far. :D I'm nervous about graduation, but I'll be ok.

Last Wednesday was the one-year anniversary of an extremely sucky day. I'm doing my best to not think about it. 'S all I can do. *nod* It's sad, I still wish we could be friends. Yet I made a lot of mistakes. I'll try not to write about it in my lj anymore because it just comes off as emo, obsessive drivel. I have my private Journal to write about anything.

Mm, can't think of much else to say. Class is gonna start soon, so cya. :3

Tesh :)


I'm going back to SCHOOOOOOOOOLLLLL! Next week. I'm taking 3 classes- Copyediting, Desktop Publishing, and Lit Foundations.

Oh, man, it'll be good to be back. :) I miss going to class, and seeing friends, and complaining about papers. XP There is nothing like being away from something for a long time to make you appreciate it. During this whole long break I've been bored and didn't have much to do. School keeps me busy, helps me make new friends, and helps me learn. And this is my final semester, so I have to enjoy it. I'll miss Emerson. :(

*sigh* I gotta get on the ball with applying to internships n' such. :/ Most places don't begin looking til Marchish.

In other news, I will soon begin making a new cosplay costume- Himeno from Pretear as the Sound Pretear. I'm pretty sure I'm going to get help. I wish I could just do it by myself but I don' know how to sew with a sewing machine, and can only do it moderately well by hand. I want to learn to sew not just because of cosplay, but because it's a practical skill to have. It'll be fun. I'll look weird with pink hair, but oh well. XD I haven't bought anything yet. I'm sorta waiting til I have a lil' more money. I was going to get the wig commissioned, but it's really expensive. :/ I can try styling one myself. I want to wear the costume to Anime Boston, which is in April this year. I have 2 months. If I don't finish, it's not the end of the world.

And btw, Happy New Year! Sorry that I haven't written in a while. My Christmas was good. My older brother was here! My new years consisted of watching the ball drop and going to bed. Woo, exciting. LOL. But, overall I'm feeling good. My strength is back, I'm pretty much 100%. I'm ready to go back to school! :D


Tesh :)

*sings* Christmastime is (almost) here...!

Wishing you all a wonderful Holiday season. :) I'm wearing a Santa hat right now, gettin' in the mood.

My birthday was fun. Fire + Ice is a cool restaurant. I am now 23. I'm still young tho, right right? XD

In other news, I'm happy to say that I revived my cosplay meetup group! Check out Bostonian Cosplay Meetups here: http://www.meetup.com/bostoncosplay. I hope that others will be interested in the group. I'm sure it'll be a good time! The first meeting is scheduled for after the new year. Be there or be square. :3

So that's all that's going on for now. Merry Christmas!!

Tesh :)

Boredom, a Poem. And stuff.

I wrote this poem yesterday and then got bored again. Ironic, ne?


I look to my left, I look to my right
There's not a thing to do in sight.
I click on the same websites again and again
And realize that one can only be on Facebook for so long.

As I listen to music my mind starts to roam
Wondering what I'd do if I wasn't stuck at home.
I click on the same websites again and again
And realize I've been reading celebrity gossip for an hour.

I imagine myself soaring toward the moon and stars
Past the Earth and straight toward Mars.
But I click on the same websites again and again
And realize I've been sitting on my compy till 1 a.m.

So I turn off the lights and have a dream
that I'm with you all and we're eating ice cream.
I'm not clicking on websites again and again
I'm enjoying life with my dear friends.



In other news, my birthday draws ever nearer. I'm excited now. :) I can't wait to eat at the restaurant.

Everyone's getting really busy with end-of-semester stuff at school. I feel bad calling anyone cuz I don't want to disturb. I'm always like that tho. <.<; Speaking of calling, I have a new cell phone! Her name's Cherry. :3 She's black and red, so yeah. XD

I'm working on resume stuff and looking into publishing companies. It's going well.

Online prereg for Anime Boston has opened! 8D I can't do it quite yet, unfortunately.

So that's all that's going on that's worth writing about. Be seeing you.

Tesh :D

My Art and Other Things

(Taken from my deviantART Journal)

Lately I've been doubting my artistic talent. Before I was hospitalized I really liked my drawings, but now when I try to draw the results don't come out the way I intend to. :/ I still can't shade or draw cloth very well. Proportions are a problem too. My digital colorings are flat sometimes too.

Idk, maybe I need to change up my style. My drawings have been heavily Anime-influenced for YEARS. But I only know how to draw cartoonishly. I've been practicing but I'm still not getting better.

I'm reminded of the time I was at art school and was REALLY discouraged and depressed about my art. That's because I was surrounded by amazing artists and I had "high school level work."

So yeah. Sorry to complain.

(exerpt ends here)

In other news, my birthday draws nearer. I made my list. :) I asked for practical things like clothes, but I also asked for giftcards. But no reading materials about macro economics. ;P And I still don't know what I wanna do. Oh well, maybe I'll do nothing.

I had a good Thanksgiving. I made an apple pie and it came out awesomely. :3

Registration for school starts Nov 30th. Since I'm a senior, I get first dibs on classes. Yay for more credits.

That's all for now folks.

Tesh :)

Birthday ._.

It's my birthday next month. D: Eh, I'm not as excited about it as usually am. I haven't even made my list yet. Do I ask for "age appropriate" things? Books on macro economics? :P Well, I mostly want money anyway.

But then, this is the 2nd year I haven't been able to afford Christmas presents for my family. :'( I feel really bad. But there's nothing I can do. I can try to ask for more hours at work tho.

Ah yes, and it's almost Thanksgiving! I'm making a pie!! :D

Annnnd, that's kinda it. See you.


Tesh : )

Retiring from cons?

Hey all, Tesh here.

The sad reality is that I can't afford to travel around to different cons. I've had talks with my older brother about saving money. I need more important things like a car and apartment, cuz I want to move out my house. I need to work on my career and such. D: As much as I would like to cosplay and have fun, I really shouldn't. :/ I still plan on going to Anime Boston 2010, but that may be my last one... :'( I probably won't be cosplaying, as much as I would like to. I just can't spend a ton of money on fabric and stuff. :/ Plus my family would look down on it. -___-

All I think of when I think about being an adult is "having stimulating conversations about macro economics." Yeah, I know that's not what adulthood is all about. At least I hope not. *sigh*

I still like anime and stuff, but sadly I had been investing too much time and money into it. It was a big part of my life, perhaps too big. Now I'm hurting for money and that's because of me spending it on all this stuff I didn't particularly need. :/ And I'm not getting any younger. My birthday's next month. o_o;

I made a lot of friends through my love of anime though... But I can't always talk about anime with friends. I need to have a variety of different interests to talk about with people.

So yeah. I guess I'll be "retiring" soon.

Tesh :(

I can hardly contain my excitement.

Well, ever since my partial program ended last week, I've been very bored... I spend my days cooped up in the house. I go out sometimes to take walks but that's basically it. It doesn't help that my funds have diminished considerably. I can't really afford to go into Boston. :/

I REALLY wish were back at school with my friends. Even though I don't like tests and papers, I miss being a student. *sigh* But I guess I'm still recovering.

All I can do now is do my best to take care of my business. I've been making phone calls. Yay.

And now for something completely different! Owl City rox my sox off and blows them down the street for like a bajillion miles. 8D His songs make me all happy inside. :3 That is all.

I'll be seeing you. I hope to be active again soon or else I'm gonna go crazy. D:

Tesh : )

Well this sucks.

I have to find a second job. The office I work at now is in a little financial trouble so my hours will be chopped up considerably. Meaning I can't really sustain myself on 5 hrs a week.

*heavy sigh*

Any ideas/thoughts?

Tesh :/